11. take a swing dance lesson (33x33)

This item was in conjuncture with Greg's item (which, luckily, I gave to him): to teach someone how to swing dance. Two birds, one stone. And what a fun stone! And what fun birds! I started this endeavor with the knowledge of how to do the Charleston, from my prepubescent years at Kenmore Middle School doing a horrible version of Kid N Play. Unfortunately, my only experience with being led around the dance floor has been with my father. He's a bit of a bear of a man so the dancing is more like twirly hugging... imagine dancing with Alfred Hitchcock...



So I went to the Jam Celler (which is not a place where there is a lot of jam in mason jars - or moonshine for that matter) to take a free swing dance lesson and had the most amazing time!

Here's what a Yelper had to say:

If you're thinking "oh yeah like the 'swing craze' in the 90s" you've got the wrong idea. Jam Cellar is not about costumes or poses, just the pure and simple joy of partner dancing. I never danced in my life before trying this, and I realized I have seriously been missing out! It's pretty much the perfect activity: it's cheap, gets you moving, involves real communication between two strangers, the people are smart and cool, and the surroundings are gorgeous.

Jam Cellar provides lots of opportunities to learn the basics & beyond, with both a free beginner lesson before each dance and numerous series classes (and you can re-take the beginner series class for FREE once you have gone through it once)

This is a video of one of the teachers that I had, the Jason guy. They were both really confident instructors and were easy with the beginers which I definitely appreciated.



Then upstairs, I met with Alex and Greg and met all kinds of new people and random strangers asked me to dance and I totally cocked it up and I can't tell you how many times I threw my head back laughing at the joy of moving around and twirling and being led. fantastic!

maybe after a few more lessons, I'll be able to do this kind of move... ha!

8. be on-time to work 33 times (14% of working days) (33x33)

Time is an interesting concept. I would rather I was part of the Native American tribes which have a sunrise, morning, noon, afternoon, and sunset. Those would be perfect "times" for me. I would ignore sunrise time though. I am on time for things that I care about. The problem is that usually I'm "supremely unconcerned." There isn't too much that I get upset about, such is the life of self-acceptance. It seems to upset others though if I'm late, and if they started giving me warnings for every day that I'm late to work, I wouldn't be working for very much longer... like maybe I could finish out the week.

Just like I changed my attitude towards food and drugs, I think I can change my attitude towards punctuality; I've got to mindfuck myself. Rather than thinking "I wish I could be ontime." I'm going to start thinking, "I like being ontime. I am a timely person. I love punctuality." Never underestimate the power of a good mindfuck.

I'm going to keep tabs of the days that I'm ontime in the morning though (work starts at 8:30AM).

1. February 15, 2013
2. February 23, 2013
3. April 19, 2013
4. April 29, 2013
5. May 1, 2013
6. May 2, 2013
7. May 3, 2013
8. May 14, 2013
9. May 15, 2013
10. May 17, 2013
11. May 21, 2013
12. May 22, 2013
13. May 23, 2013
14. May 24, 2013
15. May 28, 2013
16. May 29, 2013
17. May 30, 2013
18. May 31, 2013
19. June 2, 2013 (for Clementine's picnic AND the red line was single-tracking)
20. June 3, 2013
21. June 4, 2013
22. June 5, 2013
23. June 6, 2013
24. June 7, 2013
25. June 10, 2013
26. June 11, 2013
27. June 12, 2013
28. June 13, 2013
29. June 17, 2013
30. June 18, 2013
31. June 19, 2013
32. June 20, 2013
33. June 21, 2013

WHAT?! not only have I met the 33-day goal, I have SURPASSED it!

34. June 24, 2013
35. June 25, 2013
36. June 26, 2013

31. Steal a choir suit, run around singing, clapping, and praising (32x32)

While I was living in Delaware, I sometimes visited a Baptist church in Kennet Square (not because I'm Baptist, heaven forbid). The rack of choir dresses was right next to the door to the bathroom and I would always have the urge to steal one in the middle of the day and dance down the aisle singing and praising like a Baptist. But I'm not, so it seemed slightly disrespectful to do so in their house, especially since I was guest affiliated with a different group. Wouldn't want to give alcoholics a bad name... Ha!

In 1980 my anut [sic] Pat lived on Capital Hill in DC. She converted to the Anglican Church after a lifetime in the Catholic Church and became a parishioner of St. Mark's Episcopal because a lady my dad used to date said that it was a congregation of recovering Catholics. My mom followed suit after divorcing with my dad and remarrying a Luthern. In 1986 we joined St. Marks, which was led by a man named Jim Adams, who gave mixed signals as to where he was in his spiritual jouney. My understanding (granted, I was pretty young still when he left) was that he wasn't actually certain that Jesus was the one and only. He believed in God, no doubt, but I think he may have viewed Jesus as a prophet/spiritual leader like Muhammed, Buddha, Confucius, etc. Sunday school for me growing up was not learning the stories of the bible but instead, reinterpreting all the religious dogma into something functional. I didn't and still don't have a working knowledge of all that business and don't think I really need it in order to have a relationship with other people and beings in the universe. Sometimes I wonder at the extent of religious versus political versus social versus economical impact on my moral and ethical compass. If it were a Venn diagram I think it would only overlap minimally. All that to say, borrowing a choir robe to sing and praise Jesus isn't my normal Sunday activity. Similarly, I doubt it is the normal Friday night activity for many people to eschew a bar or a club to go talk to people who have been abstaining from drugs for the past decade (on average, at least at my homegroup).

Retro is solely dependent on perspective I've concluded. And that's a good thing.

30. blow kisses to all highway patrol cars (32x32)

But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun!



(sometimes I worry that my kisses will antagonize one of those guys and I'll get a ticket for my shenanigans. Hasn't happened yet though so I think I'm safe.)

Ain't so funny meow, is it?

8. three blind dates (32x32)

what constitutes a "blind date"? Obviously, it is not a dried fruit with visual impairments. Does meeting someone on OKCupid count as a blind date? In a world of marketing brilliance where an algorithm can predict your relationship-match-based-happiness with more accuracy than a yenta, the art of the blind date has been lost. Mart, my yenta, told me that in the 80s they used to have singles parties (she's big into themed parties anyways) where single friends invite other single friends. That way, you make sure that there is some amount of friend-incest so that you don't lose the friend when they get married. Makes sense. These things don't happen anymore.

For this item I nudged friends to set me up with their friends, and they've all kind of fallen flat. Maybe I'm not that great of a catch and my friends have been lying to me, like in "He's Just Not That Into You". I've considered submitting an application to DateLab with the Washington Post. But the easiest thing to do is to create a profile on an online dating site and answer honestly and muddle through.

In the past year I have seriously dated three guys, two of whom I met on OKCupid. I went on one date that just fizzled out afterwards. I've emailed with countless others, and ignored even more. Not to toot my horn, just saying that well, I don't respond to everyone.

I think meeting a stranger from OKCupid should count as a blind date. Even if you've emailed for weeks, texted, sexted; until you can see the 90% of communication that happens on someone's face, you're blind to who they are.

Blind date #1: International Yarn Bomb day, my date came with me to put a sweater on the Joan of Arc statue in Malcom X Park.



Blind date #2: Walk along the Potomac River sharing a bag of Five Guys fries.

Blind date #3: Banangrams and coffee, where I used the word "catheter" and lost because I misspelled "kinetics"

2. establish Needles to Say (32x32)

The idea behind Needles to Say has been germinating in my brain for a minute now and it's starting to actually sprout. My grandma taught me how to crochet when I was five years old and it didn't take (I was too busy dressing up as a gypsy and ruining my mother's makeup, dancing to Michael Jackson's Beat It, and being a general terror to the family cat, Rhoda, to really take to much). When I was social program coordinator in 2005 at the Clubhouse, I asked a friend of mine to come and teach the members how to knit; this is when it took. I haven't put down my needles since. In fact, I've picked up more needles, pins, and hooks since then to qualify as a crafty basterd. The reason I love this craft so much is that it makes something practical and necessary to keep people warm and let them know they're loved - all at the same time. It is effective AND efficient, what more could a wonk like me ask for?!



I've knit surgical masks, hats for homeless people, scarves for friends, socks for my god mother, sweaters for babies and a single adult-sized sweater (because that shit is difficult), a leg warmer for a friend who broke her ankle and was in a cast in the winter, a monstrous garden-needle blanket for my cat-sitter, baby blankets for Erin, Bobby, Harper, Cole, Julian, Lily, Daisy, Henry, Matilda, and Marc, baby hats for stillborns, dog sweaters that rarely fit, and headbands for Spaniards. I've made memory quilts for Jason, Kristina, Tiffany, Lee, and Judy; and hand-stitched quilts for Matt & Mart and Xy. The only things I kept for myself is a patchwork knit blanket from remnants of skeins and a hat that I knit for a guy which, uh, well, didn't get a chance to give it to him before we split (I thought it would send a mixed message, "I don't think this is working out... here's a parting gift I made for you." what the what?)

What I've noticed about knitting and knitters, is that we're inherently give-awayers. Whenever I've put up a post on freecycle for left over yarn, I always get an avalanche of fibre. When I teach people how to knit, they're always planning a project to make for a loved one. Even the poorest of the poor are thinking of what they can give. Clubhouse members were always knitting scarves and crocheting blankets for the homeless in the shelter a few blocks away; when Hurricane Katrina hit they held a food-drive to collect canned goods to take down to the DC Armory for the displaced families. The generosity of the meek is always the most humbling.

Another thing about knitting, it gets people talking. Swapping stories, sharing tribulations, learning from others' mistakes, passively acquiring communication skills, especially among women. Women used to sit around a table in a quilting hive, they used to be able to talk to each other and work cooperatively rather than competitively. Not to say that yarn is some sort of magic that eradicates defects of character; but because fiber crafts can take a while to complete it creates patience and almost requires a group to maintain itself longer in order to reach project goals. People can be catty, no doubt, but you can build trust in a group of givers and teach each other how to set boundaries and how to nudge salty people into sweetness in the most loving and compassionate way. I believe in the pervasive power of giving and how it can transform a being.

...and now I have to boil all of that down to a mission statement... ha!

BUT BUT BUT I do have an idea of how I would run the operation! Basically, a mix between Books for America and a bike co-op. Books for America is this tiny non-profit that this guy in Virginia started out of a storage unit in Clarendon. He collected donated books and distributed them among places that needed them. All kinds of books. I had a client who was an avid reader and if there was something that he needed to do but lacked motivation to do, I'd dangle a trip out to the storage locker as a reward for task completion (Everyone has their own incentive system). This organization grew so much so that it now has it's own store in Dupont Circle and it's legit! I'm thinking that I could collect donated yarn and teach people how to knit in exchange for the projects going to worthy causes like baby hats for stillborns, blankets for the homeless, sweaters for children, etc. I'll sell partial skeins of yarn, or donated fabric remnants, patches, whatever people donate. Maybe set up Spring Cleaning drives, International Yarn Bombing Day night-time graffiti event, knitting marathons, quilting classes paired up with the career center or DC rec centers... it'll be my Spring project once I'm done with fundraising for the triathlon.

AND I already set up a blog for it ... of course! http://www.twoneedlestosay.blogspot.com/

the next thing to do is to go down to Arlington County courthouse to see what I have to do to make this an official 501(c)3 so that when people donate yarn and materials that they can get a write off. I'll keep updating this, but I think establishing the blog makes it count for the 32x32 :)